For our readers who haven't been following the latest Euro 2012 game, here is a guide.
We've helpfully predicted the near future so you don't have to keep following it on Newsnight.
Eu 2012 Groups & Schedule
Group A
Country | W | D | L | GD | Pts | ||
Russia | 2 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 6 | ||
Czech Rep. | 1 | 1 | 1 | -2 | 4 | ||
Poland | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | ||
Greece | 0 | 1 | 2 | -1 | 1 |
Greece, as expected, go out of the group early with a -77 billion goal difference
Czech Republic does well and decides to join the 'New EU' euro currency in 2014
Poland decides to keep the Zloty, so goes out early.
Russia couldn't care less about the Euro yet goes through to influence. Hikes the price of gas.
Group B
Country | W | D | L | GD | Pts | ||
Germany | 3 | 0 | 0 | 850 | 9 | ||
Denmark | 2 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 6 | ||
Netherlands | 1 | 0 | 2 | -1 | 3 | ||
Portugal | 0 | 0 | 3 | -1 | 0 |
Portugal leaves the Euro directly behind Greece once they see the Drachma take off
Netherlands misses budget target and fails to get through. The shock result of the tournament.
Denmark coattails Germany and slips into 'New Eurozone'
Germany tops the group and goes on to win mastery of the entire New EU' finances and budgets
Group C
Country | W | D | L | GD | Pts |
Croatia | 1 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 5 |
Spain | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
Italy | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
R. of Ireland | 0 | 2 | 1 | -2 | 2 |
Croatia scheduled to enter in 2013 anyway, just joins the 'New Eu and New Euro-Xtra currency'
Italy limp into the next round after some incredibly fortuitous refereeing decisions & the largest bailout in history
Spain just keeps drawing {bailouts} and finally falls out of the EU over the Bankia crisis
Ireland originally got through, but were ordered by Brussels to play their matches again until they lost. Fails to enter New EU
Group D
Country | W | D | L | GD | Pts | |||
Ukraine | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | |||
England | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 5 | |||
France | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7 | |||
Sweden | 0 | 0 | 3 | -1 | 0 |
7 comments:
Isn't it a shame that Italy, Spain, Greece & Portugal aren't in the same group? I'm dying to be able to say "Group of Debt"
Too much long grass to be able to see clearly more than 48 hours ahead.
This is apposite
Matt
"Ireland originally got through, but were ordered by Brussels to play their matches again until they lost."
made me smile :)
Of topic:
Diesel fumes are on a par with "passive smoking" so:-
1) Welcome to £8.0 per litre diesel as we must stop people killing each other.
2) Diesel cars will have special car parks constructed with major air conditioners required to purify shoppers air.
3) Putting your diesel car or 4x4 in a garage or workshop will be prohibited, special workshops will be constructed with only 1 wall and a roof.
4) mechanics will be issued with breathing apparatus in order to work on them safely.
5) All MOT stations will now have 1 wall and a roof too!
6) diesel cars are prohibited from using tunnels as they (in practice) have more than one wall.
7) All diesel cars to be parked a minimum of 200 metres from any workplace or public building.
8) The carrying of children in diesel cars to be considered socially irresponsible.
9) Diesel cars to be levied 200% more road tax as a contribution to the NHS for health damage caused.
Diesel vehicle owners, pay attention and welcome to the smokers' world :)
Very good, but what about the referees' bonuses?
Told you the dutch were going home!
Is there football on?
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